Graduation Challenges
Whether it’s graduation from kindergarten, middle school, high school, or college, these events can be difficult times for stepfamilies. It can also be difficult for bio parents who have split up and are not remarried or in a new relationship.
When The Bio Parents Aren’t Together
Oftentimes bio parents don’t have a good relationship with each other. As a result, attending functions together can be stressful, but even more so for their child.
We understand that not everyone gets along. And that’s ok. If you and your child’s other parent can’t be within five feet of each other without wanting to spew venom or throw punches, then, by all means, do not sit beside each other at functions for the kids. Instead, tell your kid that it is okay if they go see the other bio parent first after their event. The last thing you want is your child standing in the middle of the auditorium conflicted about which parent they should go to first. Your letting them know beforehand that it’s okay for them to go to the other bio parent first after the event is over can take a lot of stress off your child. Please don’t let your disdain for your ex outweigh the love for your child and their well-being.
Limited Tickets
Fortunately, we didn’t have an issue with graduation tickets, but we see it all the time. Prior to knowing how many tickets my triplet stepkids would receive, I had already told my husband, David, that if there weren’t enough tickets that I would be more than happy to be the one not to attend. I didn’t want the stepkids to worry about who to choose.
Stepparents often get their feelings hurt when they are not invited to graduation. Usually, the reason they aren’t invited is that there aren’t enough tickets for everyone, not because the stepkid doesn’t want them there. Graduation is a day kids shouldn’t have to worry about hurting someone’s feelings or causing family feuds. This is a milestone in their lives that they should celebrate worry-free.
Have A Big Get Together Afterwards
You can always have a get-together or go to dinner after the event if there are not enough tickets for everyone to attend. Or heck, in true stepfamily fashion there can be two celebrations! One for each side of the bio parent’s family!
Don’t Take It Personally
Don’t take it personally if you aren’t one of the “chosen” ones to receive a ticket. The limited number of tickets is not the kid’s doing. Let the kid know it is completely okay and you understand. You can tell them you are there in spirit. And ask the bio parent to record the part where they walk across the stage so you can watch it later. Don’t add undue stress to these celebrations for the kids.