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What is Nachoing?

          Definition of "Nachoing": People often ask, what is Nachoing? The Facebook response is usually "Nacho Kids, Nacho Problem." I laugh because that is not exactly what it is. The Nacho Kids method is a philosophy and methodology for...

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The Dreaded Mother’s Day for Stepmoms

Mother's Day and Stepmoms One of the hardest days for stepmoms seems to be Mother's Day. It's quite understandable. Many stepmoms care take care of their stepkids. They cook for them, clean after them, haul them back and forth to school, etc. More often than not, the...

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Stop Feeling Ashamed

Shhhh... Don't tell anyone To say being a stepmom is hard, is a drastic understatement. For many, it's the hardest thing they will ever have to do. That's confirmed by the failure rate of stepfamilies/blended families. You have to wonder when something is so hard, why...

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Stop Forcing The Blend

You’re not a nuclear family Many stepfamilies start off in the “blend” thinking they will be able to blend like a “nuclear family”. Unfortunately, the probability of this happening is very slim.  And trying to force the stepfamily/blended family to be like a nuclear...

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A Decade of “Blending”

Time Flies I cannot believe we've been in the "blend" for almost 10 years! Woohoo! We did it! Thankfully, we did not end up being a blended family statistic! At one point, we were as close as we could be to becoming one of the statistics, but we made it through it! We...

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Ten Basic Rules of Nachoing

#1     You can't say anything negative to or about the stepkid. #2     You can't expect more from the stepkid than their own bio parents do. #3     You can't care more about the stepkids than the bio parents do. #4     You can't parent them like your own. #5     You...

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The Do’s and Don’ts of Nachoing

To help you better understand Nachoing, here is a list of the Do's and Don'ts of Nachoing. Not all of these apply to everyone, but it is a good basis to start. For example, if you and your significant other's ex get along great, you don't need to nacho them. The same...

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10 things to NOT say to a struggling stepmom

As a struggling stepmom, there are things that people say that make us want to scream. Those that say these things usually have no clue the struggles many stepmoms are facing, nor do they care to try to understand. They are living the "rainbows and unicorns" blended...

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Stop creating your own misery!!

They are not your kids During a counseling session as a last-ditch effort to save our marriage, the counselor told me 812 times, "they are not your kids". It hurt my feelings at first because I knew they were not my kids.  But I really cared about them, so I thought...

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Stay in your lane!

We often see stepparents (especially stepmoms) feel the need to jump into the blended family playing the role of "mother". Whether it's being the means of transportation for the stepkids, cooking for them, doing their laundry, checking school grades/homework, making...

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Welcome to reality!

Blended family dreams? When you entered into the blend, did you have blended "dreams"? If you did, were they based on "nuclear" family expectations? Even without your having a "blended family fairy tale" dream, there were and are still expectations. I'm sure of it....

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Christmas is over!!!

Christmas is over and the New Year is approaching. Christmas is a very difficult time for many people, especially for blended families. With blended families, there are so many more people and feelings involved.  Here is a list of 10 things you need to let go of today...

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No, I didn’t marry his kids too!

A lot of times in Facebook groups, you will see someone comment to a stepparent "When you married them, you married their kids too." Um, no I didn't. Do they just not understand the definition of marriage? The definition of marriage is: "the legally or formally...

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10 Benefits of the Stepparent Nachoing (For the Bio Parent)

1.    The bio parent will not have to hear the stepparent complaining about their kids. 2.    The bio parent will not have to hear how horrible the stepparent is from their kids. 3.    The bio parent will not feel stuck in the middle and that they have to choose the...

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