They Lie
It is known that kids lie, and many adults do too. Children/adults who lack confidence may lie to make themselves seem more impressive to their peers. Kids may also tell lies when they’re feeling stressed, want attention, or are trying to avoid conflict.
Perception
When a stepkid lies about you as a stepparent what can you do? First of all, try to look at it from a different perspective. Are they flat-out lying or could it be their perspective of what happened? If the stepkid tells their bio parent, “Stepparent yelled at me this morning.”, and you know you didn’t yell at the kid, why are they saying that? Could it be that they are used to being spoken to in a calm, loving, gentle voice, and you are a little loud and energetic? It sounds crazy, but that could be why they said you yelled at them. It’s their perception.
Flat Out Lies
It can be very frustrating when a stepkid lies about something that cannot be considered partially true based on their perception. They just flat out lie. And lie. And lie. It can be infuriating especially if the lie is to or about the stepparent. The stepparent may feel they cannot correct the child or address the lying without causing other problems in the blend.
Liar Liar Pants On Fire
You may want to call the stepkid out and say “Liar Liar Pants On Fire!” and try to force them to tell the truth. But that’s not going to change or help anything. Calling them out on it can easily remove the target from the fact the stepkid is lying to the stepparent is being mean to the stepkids. And they will most likely stick to their lies even when there is undeniable proof they are lying. They truly believe they can convince you there lie is the truth. Maybe that’s because if you tell yourself something long enough, you will begin to believe it, so they could possibly believe their own lies, especially if they have people around them who see no issues with the stepkid lying.
Nacho It!
You can’t stop someone from making up crap about you. You can’t reason with someone who has delusional thinking. What you can do is control how you let it affect you. Not saying you should sweep it under the rug and push your feelings down. It’s important for you to feel your feelings. Be mad. Give yourself five minutes, one hour or even a full day if you need it to get those feelings out! We all know feelings kept bottled up will result in a volcanic explosion of your emotions, so recognize them, feel them, then let it go!
The Truth Is Seen
For those that truly know the you, they will know what the stepkid is saying is nonsense. And the you know what the stepkid is saying is poppycock.
Enabling
Yes, there will be people that believe the lies spewed from the stepkids mouth, and that’s okay. They don’t know any better, or maybe they do know the stepkid is a liar but they may be afraid to tell the stepkid they know they are lying for fear the stepkid will get angry at them or start lying about them! Or better yet, they may be happy the stepkid is lying about you because they like the drama, don’t like you, are jealous of you and are hoping it will cause others to think you are a bad person. Regardless of their intentions, they are part of the problem.
Proof
When people lie about you, you often feel the need to prove they are lying. Don’t waste your time or energy on that crap. It will not serve you well. It will just keep the drama in the forefront of your mind, making it harder to let it go!
What If It’s BAD Lies
What if the lies the stepkid is spewing could possibly result in you losing your bio kids? Or affect your job? Regardless of how their lies can impact you, you can’t make them stop. If you feel you may lose your kids because the stepkid accuses you of abuse, for example, then you need to ensure you are never alone with the stepkid. Never, not even for a minute. By staying away from the stepkid, you can eliminate their ability to accuse you of things because you are never alone with them. Well, okay they may continue to make up crap because they are pathological liars but again, those that are present when you are around the stepkid will know differently.
Being Proactive
You can be proactive if you have a stepkid that lies. As mentioned above, one way is never to be alone with the stepkid. Another way is to never talk to the stepkid without a witness present, even if it’s a phone call. In fact, it would be best to cut all communication with the stepkid for your protection. Block them from calling/texting you. Block them on social media. Remove the toxicity.
Moving On
Realize the stepkid may have an issue. They may have a mental illness or lie about you to try to make someone else happy – loyalty binds. Heck, they may just enjoy the drama. Regardless of why the stepkid lies, you don’t have to let it steal your joy. You can control that! Every single day is a gift, and we should do everything within our power to make the best of it and not let someone else’s crazy bring us down.