What Is Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is a strategy where one parent intentionally tells the child negative things about the other parent or keeps the child from the other parent. The purpose of this strategy is to damage the child’s relationship with the other parent and to turn the child’s emotions against that other parent.
Although parental alienation is very common, many alienated parents do not know what to do. They don’t want to make the alienation worse.
Here are five things to NOT do if you are an alienated parent:
1. Don’t Retaliate With Alienation
While it may be tempting to combat fire with fire, retaliating with similar alienation tactics is not the solution. It only serves to escalate the conflict and cause further harm to the child. It is essential to remember that the child’s well-being should be the paramount concern, and mirroring the destructive behavior of the alienating parent does not serve this purpose.
2. Don’t Slander The Alienating Parent In Front Of The Child
Despite the frustration and pain you may feel, it’s important to refrain from criticizing or demeaning the alienating parent in front of the child. This could backfire and further push the child away. It could also confuse the child, who might feel torn between their loyalty to the alienating parent and their desire to reconnect with you.
3. Don’t Give Up On Your Child
It can be heart-wrenching to be continuously rejected by your child. However, no matter how bleak the situation may seem, giving up should not be an option. Your child, manipulated by the alienating parent, may push you away, but it’s critical to remain available and express your unconditional love regularly.
4. Don’t Ignore Legal And Therapeutic Assistance
Attempting to navigate through parental alienation without professional help can be overwhelming and unproductive. Ignoring the need for legal counsel and therapeutic support is a grave mistake. Legal professionals can guide you on your rights and possible recourse, while therapists can provide crucial emotional support and coping strategies.
5. Don’t React Impulsively
Reacting out of hurt or anger can worsen the situation. It’s crucial to avoid impulsive actions like arguing with the child, violating custody orders, or making major decisions without proper legal advice. Always remember your actions can profoundly impact the child and the course of your relationship with them.
Sometimes You Have To
Although giving up on your child is not preferred or recommended, we know many bio parents who do give up fighting for their own mental health. They aren’t giving up on the child, they are giving up fighting the parent doing the alienation. Sometimes you have to wave the white flag and hope that when the child gets old enough, they will reach out to you and the relationship can start to heal.