I Do Love Them
As many know, there was a time my stepkids and I did not like each other at all. It didn’t start off that way. In the beginning, things were good… until they weren’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want anything to happen to them but it wouldn’t have bothered me if they decided not to come for their time with their dad. Well, I take that back. It would have bothered me only because it would have hurt my husband tremendously. I cared about them, and I loved them because they were my husband’s kids.
With Nachoing And Time
Thankfully, with Nachoing and time, my stepkids and I built bonds and have good relationships now. I learned to love them for who they are as people, not just because I love their dad and they are his kids. They know this. They know I am there if they ever need anything. I am one of their biggest cheerleaders.
There Is A Difference
I have one son of my own. He is my pride and joy. I love him more than words can ever express. My love for him can never be compared to my love for anyone else. He is a part of me. He is mine. The love I have for my stepkids is different. I love them, but it’s not the same as how I love my son. It’s genuine love, but not the kind of love I have for my own biological son.
Why??
I find myself getting annoyed by something the stepkids do and if my son does the same thing, it doesn’t affect me the same way. I wondered if it was because of the past struggles I had with the stepkids. Were our past struggles still causing deep-seated resentment towards the stepkids? I spent a lot of time trying to pinpoint why there was such a difference.
They Aren’t My Kids
After a lot of thinking, and soul searching, I figured it out. And it simply boils down to they are not my kids. Of course, I knew this already. But, there is something to be said about DNA. DNA creates an undeniable bond. We don’t have this connection with our stepkids. It doesn’t mean we can’t or don’t love them, it simply means they are not our kids and it’s okay that we don’t love them like our own because they aren’t!
You Are Normal
You are normal if you don’t love your stepkids like your own bio kids! Many stepparents will say they love their stepkids like their own, but when asked about their biological kids they reveal they are childless. So, they really can’t say that because they don’t have biological kids of their own. I’ve seen people put up a fight claiming they love all the kids the exact same way and how dare it be implied otherwise. This is difficult to believe. In the case of life or death, their biological instinct would be to save/protect their biological child first.
And let’s be realistic, if a biological parent has more than one child, they don’t necessarily love those children the exact same way. So, do not beat yourself up because society has pressured you into thinking you are a horrible person if you don’t love your stepkids exactly as you love your own biological children. You are completely normal if you don’t love the stepkids like your own.