It’s Not For Everyone
Nachoing, or using the Nacho Kids Nacho Parenting method, is not for everyone but it has saved thousands of blended families worldwide from demise, as well as helped many stepfamilies avoid struggles others have experienced.
Is It For You?
Overwhelmed in your stepparent role? Despite the stepkid having two bio parents, do you feel that you take on more responsibility for your stepkids than their bio parents? Ready to throw in the towel on your blended relationship? Do you and your partner often fight about their kids or your bio kids? Is the relationship between you and stepkid bad or non-existent, affecting your blend? Are you getting ready to blend and want to know how to avoid some of the struggles many blends face? Do you struggle with your partner’s ex? What about your in-laws, do you struggle with your in-laws regarding the blend? If you answered “Yes.” to any of these questions, learning the Nacho method can help you.
It’s Not For You If
If your partner fully agrees with and supports you parenting their bio children, you don’t mind having that responsibility, and the stepkids are receptive to your parenting, you don’t need to Nacho the stepkids. If you and/or your partner are not struggling with the blend, you don’t need Nacho. If you don’t have issues with your partner’s ex, the other bio parent, or your in-laws regarding the blend then you don’t need to Nacho them.
What Is The Goal?
The goal of Nachoing is to lower stress in the blend and better the blended relationships. For most, this includes the relationship between the stepparent and the stepkid. With Nachoing, the hope is for the stepparent to eventually re-engage with the stepkid in a non-parental role. A role of a mentor, confidant, or a “fun aunt/uncle.” And over time, as the relationship gets stronger, the stepparent may be able to step into more of a parental role as an extension of the bio parent. It’s important to build a foundation and trusting relationship with the stepkid first. If your partner’s ex is who you need to Nacho, the goal here is to simply lower your stress.
Adulting vs Parenting
Oftentimes the bio parent sometimes needs the stepparent to watch/care for the stepkid while the bio parent is working. If that is the case with your situation, you can “adult” stepkids without parenting them. Being the adult that is present, or adulting is making sure they are fed and kept safe. Not letting the stepkids run around with a knife is adulting, while parenting is punishing them for running with a knife. Adulting is telling the stepkid their bio parent said they couldn’t watch TV until after they did their homework. But, parenting is unplugging the TV or putting the kid on restriction for not finishing their homework before watching TV. When you Nacho, you still “adult”.