Vacations Aren’t Always Relaxing
Any parent who has taken their kids on vacation, knows vacations aren’t as much fun as when you were the kid! The kids want to go everywhere and do something every waking minute, while the adults are usually fine with doing some activities, but they also want to relax.
Planning Can Be A Challenge
In a stepfamily, planning a vacation for when everyone can go can be a challenge. Some court orders state when the bio parents have to convey vacation time to the other bio parent, which usually alternates yearly. However, some don’t have this addressed in court orders or don’t have a court order at all, which can make planning a lot more difficult if the relationship between the bio parents is strained.
One thing that can add to the challenge of scheduling is what days the visitations take place. For example, if your partner normally gets their kid Monday to Monday, that can present a challenge because a lot of rental properties rent Saturday to Saturday. Granted if you have a good co-parenting relationship with your ex, this may not be an issue for you at all.
Everything Doesn’t Have To Be Done As A “Family”
Too often we feel we have to do everything as a “family”. While it is great when that can happen, it’s often not realistic. For instance, if little Johnny doesn’t like to play miniature golf but the other kids do, it is perfectly okay for one adult to take little Johnny to do something else while the other go play miniature golf.
One thing we have learned over the years is if someone doesn’t want to participate, it’s best not to make them. If they are made to participate it usually ruins the activity for everyone else. And we get it, we want to do things as a family too, but again, if someone is miserable, they will make others miserable.
It’s not always that the kids don’t want to do something, sometimes age differences can cause the kids to have to do things separately. I remember taking all the kids to Carowinds, a local amusement park, and my son was not tall enough to ride some of the rides, so I took him to ride the rides he could ride while David took his kids to ride the rides my son couldn’t ride. We met up for lunch and to ride the rides we could all ride, and we still had a lot of fun.
It’s Okay To Take Separate Vacations
We even took our kids on separate vacations at times. It’s important for the bio parent to spend alone time with their bio kids. A short weekend getaway is a great way for this to happen.
It Doesn’t Have To Be For A Full Week
It’s okay for vacations not to be a week long. In fact, short vacations can be a lot less stressful for everyone. Maybe take the kids on vacation for a long weekend, take your own bio kids on a short weekend excursion, and take a long weekend for just the adults.
Before You Go
It is often best to have each bio parent speak to their kids about expectations and explain to the kids that this is a vacation for everyone. That y’all will try to do something everyone wants to do. You can even share your plans with them and let them know what activities you have planned that way they aren’t asking a million questions.
Make Travel More Comfortable
Whether you are driving or flying, you want to make sure you have plenty of things to keep the kids entertained. Make sure you bring their iPad, tablet, laptop, phone, or whatever electronics they have, and don’t forget the headphones and chargers. You don’t want to be two hours into an 8-hour trip and realize someone forgot their headphones.
Opportunity For Memories
The most important thing to remember is that vacations can create memories. Try to make those memories good memories!