There are many myths we see about Nacho Parenting. Let’s look at ten of these myths and learn the facts.
Myth # 1
You Nacho because it’s the easy way out. Wrong! Nachoing is anything but easy!
Fact: From the outside it may seem so, but believe me learning to respond and not react takes time and practice.
Myth # 2
You Nacho to teach your partner a lesson. Wrong! You don’t Nacho to dump everything on your partner to cause them more stress.
Fact: You hand back the parenting responsibilities to lower your stress, lowering the stress of the blend. However, I must say that often when the stepparent steps back, the bio parent does see more of the stepkid’s bad behavior.
Myth # 3
You are hurting the stepkids by Nachoing.
Fact: If you are Nachoing properly, the stepkids will also benefit. Nachoing properly allows you to build relationships with the stepkids, so it’s not like you are abandoning them. You can be a great role model, confidant, and friend to the stepkids and even have a better relationship with them than they do with their parents. Oh, and you NEVER Nacho safety!
Myth # 4
Once you Nacho you have to Nacho everything forever!
Fact: Nachoing is fluid. Over time some of the things you originally Nacho’d you will not have to Nacho anymore because you’ve learned how to better handle the situations through personal development. And there may be new things you do need to Nacho. People change, and circumstances change. I must say that there are still things I Nacho with my stepkids because it’s what’s best for my stress and our blend.
Myth # 5
If I Nacho, I have to Nacho everything!
Fact: You do not have to Nacho everything. You Nacho the things that cause you stress. If you enjoy taking the stepkids to school and you are implementing the Nacho method, keep taking them to school. Don’t stop doing the things you enjoy!
Myth # 6
Nachoing is ignoring!
Fact: Nachoing is not ignoring. Instead, it’s not engaging in any negative interaction with the stepkids.
Myth # 7
If I Nacho, I must re-engage with the stepkids at some point.
Fact: Of course, the goal is to lower your stress and re-engage with the stepkids in a role that works best for your blend; however, we understand that there are situations that the stepparent does not feel comfortable re-engaging with the stepkids, and that’s ok.
Myth # 8
You can’t say anything to your stepkids, ever!
Fact: Yes, the first rule of Nachoing is not to say anything negative to the stepkids, but that does not mean you can’t say anything. For example, if the stepkid tells you to shut up, you have every right to tell them, “You will not talk to me like that.” then walk away. Or if your stepkid is being hateful to your bio kid, you have every right to remove your child from the situation and say, “You will not treat them that way.”
Myth # 9
Your partner will hate you for Nachoing.
Fact: Your partner may not be too happy with your Nachoing initially; however, they will quickly see the benefits to your Nachiong by the reduced stress in the home.
Myth # 10
You can’t help your significant other with stuff related to their kids if you are Nachoing.
Fact: You most certainly can help your partner! If you are Nachoing and not taking the stepkids to school, but your partner has to be at work early for a meeting, by all means, help them out that day. Or if your partner is having a horrible morning and their kids are not listening, maybe you can get his keys and briefcase ready for him to help him out.
TRUST THE PROCESS! IT WORKS!