Before we were married, we thoroughly researched “blended” families. We were both bringing in children from a previous relationship and did not want to be naïve regarding the complexity of this. We had also heard several horror stories and wanted to learn from the “mistakes” of others. Funny how those “mistakes” are later viewed as “great ideas that failed”. Every family is different, every child is different. There is a saying normally used with autistic children: Once you have met one autistic child, you have met one autistic child. I personally believe that is true for all children and all individuals for that matter… and “blended families”. Not once did we ever think it was going to be easy, but honestly, we had no idea what we were going to go through as a couple, as a family, as separate families and as individuals. Our life was not a roller coaster; it was an entire amusement park! There were the roller coasters of course, but there were also the different emotions you see at an amusement park. Mad kids, tired kids, sad kids, hurt kids, bad kids, mad adults, tired adults, sad adults, hurt adults, bad adults, chaos… but also a lot of happy kids and happy adults and lots of fun!
When couples with children marry, in most cases, there are 4 or more families at involved. This is complicated to say the least. For simplicity sake, we are going to try to go with the following. I, for instance, am BM (Biological Mom or Bio-Mom to my son) and NKSM (NachoKids Step-Mom)… my husband is NKSD (NachoKids Step-Dad) to my son and BD (Biological Dad or Bio-Dad) to my NachoKids… makes my brain hurt at times trying to figure out the “role” to write blogs… so, when I’m typing I am NKSM as that is why there is a blended family… if I were just BM, there would not be NachoKids.org to help people like us and you to get through this a little easier… hopefully. We KNOW we need help, sharing your stories in the forums is the only way this website will help you and others!
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Nacho Mom