Yep! I am Nacho Mom, Nacho Mama, Nacho Parent… I will Nacho! Nachoing is the blended lifesaver!
After some major downs in our attempts to blend our stepfamily, we went to a counselor. After a while, he told me, and kept telling me, “They are not your kids.” At first, I was like, this man is crazy! Then the emotional side of me kicked in and since I am an “all or nothing type person”, I jumped to the “you are telling me not to love these kids”? We discussed this a bit and I still was not convinced this counselor hadn’t fallen off his bike too many times. On the ride home, is when it hit me. My stepfamily life and our blend would be changed forever after I started what we coined as the Nacho Kids method.
It sounded crazy when I first heard it and most people seem to have the same reaction… but with an open mind, one can see the benefits of the Nacho Kids theory as well as the fact of, that’s what they are… They are NACHO KIDS! They are Nacho Kids legally, biologically, or in any other way. Just because you are in a relationship with their Dad doesn’t make you their parent.
Open your mind to looking at your stepchildren as your friend’s children and you are, for lack of a better word, babysitting. Basically, that’s what the scenario is. Your significant other is your friend and you are helping them out by watching their kids. Your role is to support them as a partner, not take over their parenting. Think about it and take the emotional part of trying to “raise their kids” out of it… ponder on it…
Nachoing is an art. It is a process. It is the realization that your role in the blend is not as a parent. For me, it was freeing for me to start Nachoing. It took so much stress off me and our blended/stepfamily. Instead of getting annoyed with them, I was proud to tell them “I am Nacho Mama. Go ask our Dad.” or “I am Nacho Mom, ask her.”
Nachoing saved my sanity and marriage. I am Nacho Mom. I am Nacho Mama. I am Nacho Parent. I choose to Nacho. It’s not easy, but it’s the best thing I could have ever done. I am Nachoing the stress of the blend and letting the parents do the parenting.
Nachoing and the Nacho Kids method is a blended lifesaver! Be proud to be a Nacho Mom (or Nacho Mama), or a Nacho Daddy. Being a Nacho Parent, or choosing to use the Nacho Parenting style, is not a bad thing. It can allow you to build a bond with the stepkids over time and it can strengthen your relationship with your significant other as you trust them to parent their kids as they deem fit.
– Posted by Nacho Mom