Nacho Kids method – almost better than Krispy Kreme Doughnuts!
Some do as I did when I first heard “they are not your kids”. They think it’s a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing, it is actually almost better than Krispy Kreme HOT & NOW doughnuts, but not quite. Great, now I’m craving those. UGH! Have you tried their apple fritters?… They are so awesome!!
Anyway, before I go ride to Krispy Kreme Happiness Land, I’d like to talk about a different view of the NachoKids method. Think of it. You are riding down the road one day and you hear “You aren’t my dad! I don’t have to listen to you!” First of all, we know this is disrespectful and needs to be addressed but guess what, they are right. On one major point anyway, you are NOT their dad! The other part of the comment is more concerning. Yes, they do have to listen to you. Respect of the NachoKids to the NachoParent is an absolute must! First of all, they are an adult. Secondly, the NachoParent is actually an extension of the Bio-parent and should be treated as an authoritative figure to a degree.
As we were riding down the road the other day a conversation was held regarding things we shouldn’t do because we still have kids to raise… You know like, bungee jump, dragon slay, etc. Apparently after an accident of a close friend, the Nacho Parent made a comment that we had said we would do the “dangerous” stuff after the kids were grown. Well, I do recall this being said; however my mentality has changed since then. First of all, if something happens to one of the Nacho-parents, odds are you won’t have any type of custody or visitation with the NachoKids. How sad that is in many cases. Especially in cases where I know the NachoKids have stated they would rather stay with the Nacho-parent if something happens to the Bio-parent because they love the Nacho-parent and can appreciate the love they are given as well. Anyway, back to the “dangerous stuff”. The Nacho-parent said “I’m not worried about the NachoKids because they aren’t my concern.” At first I thought, “Ooh that sounded kinda mean”. Then the more I thought, why add the stress to yourself to raise someone else’s kids. If you have a child you can set the standard by which you want your child to behave; but you can’t set the standard for the NachoKids. Do you know why?… come on, guess… Yep, they are NACHOKIDS!
Reality is, they are NachoKids!
Reality is, they know it from one standpoint and will eagerly remind you of it; however, there is another side to that reality and they need to understand that side as well. The Nacho-parents’ side.
You are not required to treat them as you do your own child.
It is not as easy to overlook their bad choices.
You are not required to take them places or buy them things.
You don’t have to love them but you choose to!
I will add a caveat to this though. My child has a great relationship with his Nacho-parent and loves them as if they were his biological parent. He was young when I married and does not remember being an only child, only a NachoKid. Not to mention, my child lives with us 95% of the time, thankfully! When Nacho-parent and I were going to counseling trying to figure out this blended family massacre… I told the Nacho-parent I felt since my child was so young, their role was a little different than that of a Nacho-parent that comes into the picture when the child is older. In a lot of ways they still are a Nacho-parent but in the most important way – Love – they are more of a real parent.