A lot of times in Facebook groups, you will see someone comment to a stepparent “When you married them, you married their kids too.” Um, no I didn’t. Do they just not understand the definition of marriage? The definition of marriage is: “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.” Nowhere does it say if they have kids, you are marrying them too. Nor does it say anywhere that when you marry someone with kids, that you become their parent. Maybe in the “urban dictionary,” someone has added this definition, but it’s not true. You marry someone to be their partner. You don’t marry their kids. That’s just crazy! Yes, if they have kids they, as some would say, are a package deal. I get that. But my marriage certificate only has two names. Mine and his. Not his kids, not my kid. Just us. We are the ones that have a marriage. I am an extension to my husband in their eyes. That’s it.
And regardless of what others think, I DID NOT MARRY MY STEPKIDS WHEN I MARRIED THEIR DAD!