Is Nachoing Simply Disengaging?
NO. Nachoing, or using the Nacho Kids method, is not simply disengaging. While disengaging is commonly the first step of the Nacho Kids method, and helps relieve some of the pressure off the blend, the method entails much more. Let’s look at some of the other parts of the method, as they are just as important!
Identifying Your Triggers
Part of the Nacho Kids Method is identifying your triggers and learning how to avoid them or to better handle them when these triggers present themselves.
Learn To Respond, Not React
Learning to respond and not react takes a lot of practice. The same goes with learning to pause before you respond. It’s not easy, but it is a very important part of the Nacho process.
Letting Go Of Control
In life, we often try to control things we have no control over in the first place. This is especially true in the blend. Letting go of trying to control these things is liberating. Learning to control how we let these things affect us is where the ultimate control is.
Being Accountable For Your Part
It’s not easy to admit that we may be contributing to the blended/stepfamily struggles. The good news is, that once we identify how we are contributing negatively to the blend, we can work on that!
Understanding You Are Not The Only One Struggling
We often get so wrapped up in our own struggles and hurt that we don’t see that others around us are also struggling. Blending is a challenge for everyone. Realizing we are not the only ones struggling in the blend is crucial.
Grieving The Nuclear Family Dreams
Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to grieve the loss of nuclear/traditional family dreams. The sooner we let go of those nuclear family dreams, the happier we can be in our blend.
Self-care
Self-care is critical in life in general and is often neglected. In stepfamilies, stepparents tend to lose themselves in the blend. They can quickly get burnt out and overstressed. Taking care of yourself is something that should not be neglected. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” It’s very true.
Changing Your Perspective
Part of the Nacho Kids method is changing your perspective. One example is stepparents often struggle with the bio parent not parenting like they think they should. This can often result in them viewing their partner as weak, and even unattractive. Thus, it’s so very important to understand why the bio parent is parenting, or not parenting, their kids, the way they are. Understanding guilty parent syndrome can help change your perspective of your partner’s parenting towards their kids.
Stopping The ANTs
Dr. Daniel Amen has written many books on automatic negative thinking! It’s truly fascinating and very enlightening! Learning to control your thoughts and finding positives in negative situations is priceless! Not just in the blend, but in everyday life! This is so important that we have dedicated a 30-day challenge to “Change Your Stinking Thinking” in our Nacho Kids Academy.
Is That All?
No, that’s not all the method entails, but it gives you a good idea of what the method consists of in addition to the disengaging aspect.
What If I Only Disengage?
Disengaging may relieve the pressure in the blend as mentioned earlier. However, disengaging by itself does not repair the damage that has been done in the blended relationships, nor does it foster the rebuilding of these relationships.
Nachoing Is Not Easy
None of the steps in the Nacho Kids method are easy. They take time and practice. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing worth having comes easy.”
Nacho Can Be A Way Of Life
Learning to Nacho properly provides you with tools to help lower your stress in everyday life situations, inside and outside of the blend. It is not only saving blended family relationships worldwide, it is becoming a way of life for so many!