A lot of times in blended family Facebook groups. you will see the term “Nachoing”, or someone saying “Nacho that”. What exactly does this mean? It basically means using the Nacho Kids Method to step back from the situation in order to lower the stress of the blend.
The Nacho Kids method consists of many facets. Here are some of them:
1. Identifying your triggers.
2. Addressing how to best handle those triggers – determine what you need to nacho and what your options are.
3. Treating the stepkids as you would a friend’s kids.
4. Learning to walk away before reacting out of anger or frustration.
5. Referring the stepkids to their bio parent.
6. Not engaging in negative conversation with or telling the stepkids to do chores/homework/etc.
7. Not saying anything to or about the stepkids to anyone!
8. Letting your significant other deal with their ex. They are their baggage, not yours.
9. Utilizing the tools we teach to get a good handle on the situation and change your focus from the situation that is causing you stress.
10. Allowing the bio parent to do the parenting/disciplining of their kids.
11. Stepping back and not interjecting with the bio parent’s parenting (or lack of).
12. Building a bond with the stepkids over time and eventually re-engage with them in a role that works best for you both.
13. Learning to focus on your marriage, or your own kids, not the stepkids behavior.
14. Learning to be a supportive partner without having to control everything.
15. Finding the true power in letting go of things you cannot control by learning to control your reactions and how you let things affect you.