After 174 Podcast Episodes
Every week for over the past three years, we have released a Nacho Kids ~ Nacho Parenting podcast episode. Some of these episodes have been with licensed therapists, counselors, lawyers, and other stepfamily coaches but the majority have been with bio or stepparents in the blend, and also some stepkids. We wanted to share with you what we have learned by doing the last 174 episodes.
# 1 It’s Worldwide
One of the things we have learned is it doesn’t matter where you live, what your ethnicity is, what religion you are, or what your economic status is; blending is hard for everyone! We have talked to people all over the world and one thing we can all agree on, is blending is not easy!
#2 Not Just Hard For The Stepparents
We know being in a stepfamily isn’t easy. Not only do stepparents struggle in the blend, but the stepkids do, and the bio parents do too! Oh, and let’s not forget the in-laws. Blending can be hard on them too. It’s important to remember everyone is trying to adjust to the changes and give grace to all in the blend.
#3 In-laws Don’t Help
The in-laws… yep! Often the in-laws make the blends more difficult. It may not always be intentional, but the in-laws can definitely cause more stress in the blend. They may show favoritism towards their biological grandkids. Heck, they may even show favoritism to their first bio grandkids over the grandkids that come from the second marriage. It may also be that the bio parent, or stepparent, has complained to their bio parents about their partner and/or their partner’s kids. Thus causing the in-laws to not think too highly of their child’s significant other or the significant others kids.
#4 Society Needs To Stop
The societal pressures on blended families to be like nuclear/traditional families are insane! These pressures only make the stepparents feel alone in their struggles and make them feel as if they are horrible people for not loving their stepkids like their own. It has to stop! I liken these unrealistic societal pressures to how society used to view depression as taboo. Now, thankfully, society is shifting to where it’s more mainstream to talk about depression, and getting therapy is becoming normal! Hopefully, we can help shift the view society has on blended families!
#5 The Family Court System Needs To Be Overhauled
After dealing with the family court system for 17 years, I knew it needed some work. And I say this coming from the “winning” side. It’s not just in the United States, but all over the world, the family court system is damaged. From ignoring, and in some cases assisting in, parental alienation to the judge’s personal lives and experiences affecting the outcome the family court system results in the court system not always doing what is best for the child. We have heard some horrific stories and have had some brave people share their stories with us on our podcast.