You Nacho to lessen the stress and anxiety, not just in you but those around you. If you are stressed and anxious, others around you will feel that. It’s not a pleasant environment.
You Nacho to save your sanity. You do this by realizing the things you have absolutely no control over. Whether it be the lack of parenting by the stepkids’ Bio Mom or Bio Dad, the kids not listening to you, the kids doing poorly in school… you can’t change or control other people.
You nacho situations that can cause resentment, like parenting the stepkids. They have parents and you aren’t one of them. If you don’t tell the kids what to do, you don’t allow the opportunity for them to ignore you.
You Nacho Bio Mom because she is not your baggage. . In fact, have no contact with BM.
So, see, you aren’t controlling their behavior, you are controlling yours, which in turn affects theirs.