As a struggling stepmom, there are things that people say that make us want to scream. Those that say these things usually have no clue the struggles many stepmoms are facing, nor do they care to try to understand. They are living the “rainbows and unicorns” blended life and think you are horrible for not being like them. Don’t let ...

They are not your kids During a counseling session as a last-ditch effort to save our marriage, the counselor told me 812 times, “they are not your kids”. It hurt my feelings at first because I knew they were not my kids.  But I really cared about them, so I thought he was crazy. But then it hit me after ...

We often see stepparents (especially stepmoms) feel the need to jump into the blended family playing the role of “mother”. Whether it’s being the means of transportation for the stepkids, cooking for them, doing their laundry, checking school grades/homework, making doctor’s appointments, attending parent-teacher conferences, or disciplining the stepkids, I could go on and on. Here’s where the problem comes with all ...

Blended family dreams? When you entered into the blend, did you have blended “dreams”? If you did, were they based on “nuclear” family expectations? Even without your having a “blended family fairy tale” dream, there were and are still expectations. I’m sure of it. It’s human nature to have expectations of others. Unfortunately, expectations of others can set you up for ...

Christmas is over and the New Year is approaching. Christmas is a very difficult time for many people, especially for blended families. With blended families, there are so many more people and feelings involved.  Here is a list of 10 things you need to let go of today and move on. You didn’t get a gift or a gift you liked/wanted/asked ...

A lot of times in Facebook groups, you will see someone comment to a stepparent “When you married them, you married their kids too.” Um, no I didn’t. Do they just not understand the definition of marriage? The definition of marriage is: “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.” Nowhere does it ...

1.    The bio parent will not have to hear the stepparent complaining about their kids. 2.    The bio parent will not have to hear how horrible the stepparent is from their kids. 3.    The bio parent will not feel stuck in the middle and that they have to choose the stepparent’s or their kids’ side. 4.    ...

When someone responds to a stepmom/stepdad, who is struggling or complaining about their blended issues (usually it’s about the stepkids), with “You knew what you were getting into”, it can result in the stepparent having the feeling of the exorcist taking over their body. Seriously, it’s a major trigger for stepparents who already feel like they are “failing” at this blended ...

Do you dislike your stepkids? Be honest. No judging here. I felt this way. Of course, I was afraid to tell anyone how I felt because of the backlash I knew I would get! They got on my nerves so bad! They would constantly leave messes everywhere. Their dad wouldn’t tell them to do stuff because he didn’t want the ...

If you are ready to get serious about changing your blended family mess into success, and to save your sanity and marriage, now is the time to join! In the Academy, we teach you how to properly nacho, we walk alongside your journey with you and we teach you crucial tools to lower your stress in the blend, which in ...

Recently I read something very interesting that shed some light on what some Nacho Moms (and Biological Moms) struggle with…  wondering why your husband doesn’t see things the way you do when it comes to parenting. The article listed several “types” of Fathers:  Puzzled, paralyzed and those fighting to be The Man: 1.  The “puzzled father” – just as it states, ...

  Stepmom responsibilities for the stepkids: Make sure they don’t die on your watch. Disclaimer: Do not allow them to be on your watch, if you fear they will die on your watch.   ...